Pavel Pech's Work
překlad, Travis E., A Second Chance
I woke up about the same time as on the previous day. I had awakened earlier when it was still dark outside, but I decided that I wouldn’t be let out of my crib for a long while, and I had managed to go back to sleep. The second time I woke up the nursery was filled with natural light. It was obviously morning, now. I went through what had become my normal morning routine of languishing in the despised harness. I hated this stupid thing! I lay there for what seemed like forever. At some point, just like the previous morning, I began to cry over my predicament. I tried not to, but I just couldn’t help it.
“Taddy?” I heard Billy say quietly a few minutes later.
I abruptly stopped crying.
“Yeah?” I replied in a shaky voice
“Are you crying?” he asked me.
“Uh huh,” I sobbed and continued to cry.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I hate this stupid harness,” I cried.
“Oh, yeah,” he said.
I heard what sounded like Billy sitting up in his crib or something like that.
“You know, if you cry really hard,” he told me. “Someone will come get you up.”
“I am crying,” I said almost indignantly.
“No,” he replied. “I mean really loud, like a real baby cries. Loud enough to wake everyone up.”
“What?” I asked in confusion.
“That’s how I used to get them to let me out when I had to sleep in the harness,” he said. “Try it. You’ll see.”
“But, won’t I get in trouble?” I questioned worriedly.
“No, silly,” he said. “We’re babies. Babies cry sometimes. Come on. Just try it.”
“But…” I started to question again.
Suddenly I was cutoff and completely startled by the sound of Billy letting out a high-pitched, banshee wail. He sounded just like a really upset infant, only with a much bigger voice.
“There, I got it started for you,” he said. “Now, come on, it’s your turn.”
“Well…okay,” I replied.
I took a deep breath and let out a cry trying to imitate his. It lasted maybe five seconds, and wasn’t nearly as loud as his.
“Okay, that’s not bad,” he said, “But you need some practice. Now, don’t stop. Keep it going until someone comes in.”
I nodded to myself and let out another wail. Halfway through it I was surprised when Billy joined me with a loud, cry of his own. We kept it up, both of us crying pretty loudly, for probably not even two minutes before I heard the nursery door swing open rapidly.
“What’s wrong?” I heard Celli ask urgently.
Billy and I immediately stopped crying. Celli came over to me and peered into my crib.
“What’s wrong, baby?” she repeated.
“I want out of here…please?” I pleaded pathetically.
She let out a sigh and sort of rolled her eyes. She just smiled at me and shook her head as she went over to my chest-of-drawers to get the key to let me out. She came over and unlocked my harness. I set up and saw that Andy was in the room, as well. She was helping Billy out of his crib.
“And what were you crying for?” she asked Billy.
“Sympathetic crying,” he explained seriously. “You know? One baby starts crying and they all start crying.”
“Uh huh,” Andy said unamusedly.
Celli picked me up out of my crib and gave me a good morning hug. Right about that time, Mommy came rushing into the room.
“What was all that yelling?” she asked alarmed.
“Oh, Taddy decided he wanted to get up,” Celli explained, “So, I guess Billy goaded him into starting to cry. Then, of course, Billy had to join in.”
“Billy, you are teaching your brother all your dirty, little, spoiled tricks,” Mommy said with a shake of the head and a smile.
Billy just grinned broadly and giggled mischievously.
“Come here, baby,” Mommy said, opening her arms to me.
Celli carried me over to Mommy and handed me off to her. Mommy held me and gave me a good morning hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Did you sleep okay, baby?” she asked me.
“Uh huh,” I replied as I rested my head on her shoulder.
“Good,” she said. “Let’s go downstairs and get some breakfast.”
She turned and carried me out of the nursery, and everyone followed us downstairs. We went to the kitchen where we found Daddy pouring himself a cup of coffee.
“Good morning, everyone,” he greeted us. “What was all that noise up there?”
“Little Taddy decided he wanted up,” Mommy said, “So, he started acting like a baby.”
“Oh,” Daddy replied without much reaction. “Okay.”
Mommy carried me over to my highchair and got me fastened into it. She then picked up Billy and gave him his good morning kiss and hug before she put him into his highchair. As she went to the kitchen Daddy came over and told us good morning again and gave us both a kiss on the forehead before he went to his seat at the table and sat down with his cup of coffee. Mommy and the girls made bowls of cereal for breakfast. We didn’t have time for a big breakfast today because it was church day and we needed to get ready to go to church. Since we had cold cereal, Billy got to feed himself with his little toddler spoon, but I couldn’t do that. Instead, Daddy pulled my highchair up beside him and fed me my Cheerios as he read the Sunday paper and drank his coffee. He didn’t eat breakfast.
As soon as breakfast was done, everyone broke up and went to get ready for church. Billy and I were put in the playpen in the den to watch cartoons and play while we waited on everyone to get ready. They would get us ready last since all we needed to do was have our diapers changed and put our church clothes on. So, we watched cartoons for a little while as we played with our baby toys.
Finally, after maybe an hour, Mommy came to get us.
“Okay, babies,” she said. “Let’s go get you two ready. It’s a special day, today. Taddy’s first day at church.”
She got Billy out of the playpen and then picked me up out of it. She took Billy’s hand and led him along as she carried me upstairs. We went down to the nursery and over to the changing table. Mommy set me down on the floor and turned me around. She undid the little flap at the top of the zipper on the back of my sleeper and unzipped the garment. She then pulled the sleeper off my shoulders and had me turn around so she could completely undress me. When I was naked except for my diapers, she picked me up and sat me on the changing table. She then had me lay down and she began to undiaper me. She pulled my plastic pants off and began to unpin my night diapers.
“So, did you like your new sleeper, sweetie?” she asked me as she unpinned my diapers.
“Uh huh,” I nodded. “It’s really warm and cozy.”
“Good,” she said happily. “I’m glad you like it.”
She got the last diaper undone and opened it up. As was usual in the morning, I was only wet, so she only had to give my diaper area a quick wipe with a single baby wipe. She then bundled up my wet diapers and deposited them in the diaper pail.
“Guess what time it is, now,” she said next.
I just shrugged at her, as I lay there naked.
“It’s time for you to wear your first disposable,” she said.
She reached down to one of the shelves for one of my disposable diapers. A big huge box that contained a whole bunch of disposables for me had been delivered to the house last week. Daddy had told me it had 120 diapers in it, which completely amazed me. I had never seen so many diapers before. I hadn’t had any reason to wear them until now, so they had just been stocked away in the changing table and under my crib. After that I had had to ask Daddy to get rid of the box they came in pretty quickly. The big case was actually bigger than the box I had slept in when I ran away from my old foster home, but it was close enough to it that it brought back really awful memories. That night I had had bad dreams all night about being in that cold, yucky box that was soaked in my pee from my accidents.
Mommy grabbed one of the diapers and held it up with a frown. She then reached down for another diaper and held it up to the first one. Satisfied that she had the correct one, she replaced the other one on its shelf.
“We’re going to have to figure out how to mark you babies’ diapers,” she said. “They’re too hard to tell apart by themselves. They’re too close in size.”
She unfolded the white diaper, which made a loud crinkling sound. She grabbed my legs behind the knees with one hand and lifted my butt up so she could slide the diaper underneath me. Then, she gently set my butt down on the new diaper. She then powdered me up and spread my legs apart to pull the front of the diaper up between them. She flattened out the front of the diaper around my hips and lower abdomen, and then she pulled up the sides of the back of the diaper over the front. She expertly fastened the four tapes on the back of the diaper to the front of the diaper securing me snugly in the diaper. She then picked me up, gave me a kiss, told me she was done, and set me down on the floor. That was definitely the fastest diaper change I had had since being here. Mommy then gave me a soft swat on the butt and told me I could walk around and get used to the new diaper. Billy climbed up onto the table to get his typically dirty night diapers changed.
I started to move around the room noticing how much the diaper crinkled when I limped around. The plastic pants that covered my cloth diapers were crinkly, but the plastic on the disposable was even more crinkly. I wasn’t sure what I thought of my first experience with these new disposables. They definitely felt a lot different than my cloth diapers. I wasn’t sure if I liked them. They were a lot thinner, and I had grown accustomed to and liked thick cloth diapers. On the other hand, they were also a lot easier for me to walk in. The center panel of absorbent material that ran down my crotch between my legs was a lot narrower than my cloth diapers, but it was still wide enough to prevent me from bringing my legs completely together. I stopped and look down at the front of my diaper. It was definitely a lot different than my cloth diapers. The tapes that ran down the front of my hips were slightly blue-tinted white and there was a column of pale yellow stripes that ran vertically down the front of the diaper and continued through the crotch. I guess it also went up the back of the diaper, too. I wondered what the stripes were for. I ran my hand down the front of the diaper and felt that it was soft and smooth. The plastic felt pretty good. I decided that these disposable diapers weren’t bad.
A few minutes later Billy hopped off the table and crinkled over to me in his own disposable.
“What do you think?” he asked me as he came up to me.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “It’s not bad.”
“You’ll get used to them,” he told me.
“Okay. Come on, boys,” Mommy told us. “We have to get your teeth brushed and get you dressed so we can go.”
She took us into the bathroom and Billy brushed his teeth while Mommy brushed mine for me. We then returned to the nursery and Billy and I waited while Mommy disappeared into the closet to pick our clothes out. She returned a minute or two later with clothes for both of us. She had two pairs of khaki pants and two, white dress shirts. She handed one set of clothes to Billy and told him to get dressed, and then she got me dressed. She first pulled the button-down shirt onto me. It had buttons on the sleeve cuffs, which made it easier for her to get the shirt on over my casts. She buttoned the shirt up, leaving the button at the collar undone. She then unfolded the pants and held them open for me. The khakis slacks were just regular, boys’, dress pants, just like Billy wore to school. The only difference between these slacks and Billy’s was the fact that they had snaps in the crotch and inseams. Last week Mommy had taken all of my big boy pants to Ms. Molly to add snaps to them. Mommy said it was so the pants would be easier to get on over my leg cast, but it would also make it a lot easier to change me once the cast was off.
Mommy unsnapped the left leg and held the pants open for me so I could step into the garment. She got them on me and pulled them up to my waist. She tucked my shirttails into the pants and then snapped the waist shut before she zipped the fly up. The front of my diaper was so puffy that she had trouble zipping the zipper up, but she was able to get it closed all the way. She then knelt down and snapped up my pants leg. She then went to my dresser for a pair of socks. She put one on my right foot and then returned to the closet for a moment. She came back out with three shoes—two were Billy’s, of course—and two tiny bundles of cloth. She put a little, brown dress shoe on my right foot before she gave Billy his shoes to put on. She then unfolded one of the little bundles, and I could tell that it was a necktie.
“Let’s put your little tie on, now,” she said.
She buttoned my shirt collar up and then put the tie on me. It was just a little clip-on tie, so it only took a second for her to put it on me. She got the tie adjusted and then went over the rest of my outfit to make sure I looked okay.
“Such a handsome boy,” she cooed at me with a smile. She leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the nose. “Wait right here, baby.”
She rose and went to the bathroom. While she was gone Billy came over to me. He was just finishing putting on his own necktie.
“You look good, baby brother,” he told me.
“Thanks,” I replied. “So do you.”
I looked down at myself once again. I immediately noticed that my diaper, thin as it was, completely filled up every bit of extra space in my pants. There was a huge bulge in the front of my crotch. I then looked behind me as best I could and noticed how puffy my butt looked. The back half of the waist of my pants was elasticized, which caused the pants to cinch snugly around my waist and only made my padded butt stick out more prominently.
“It looks like I’m wearing a diaper,” I complained to Billy.
“Maybe because you are,” he said a little patronizingly.
“Everyone is gonna make fun of me,” I whined.
“No, they’re not,” he said immediately. “Hardly anyone will notice. Trust me, I go out in diapers all the time, and no one notices. Besides, just about everyone at church knows I wear diapers, so it’s not gonna surprise them that you do, too.”
I thought that made sense, but it didn’t really make me any happier. I wasn’t really looking forward to going out in public dressed like this with my diapered butt conspicuously showing for everyone. Sure, I had been out in public in diapers before, much bigger, thicker diapers in fact, but this was different for some reason. I guess it was because all the previous times I had gone out in diapers I had been wearing babyish clothes, so anyone who saw me would have automatically assumed that I was wearing diapers. But now I was wearing big boy clothes, and everyone was going to think that I wasn’t supposed to be wearing diapers.
I was very distressed over this, but I didn’t have much time to dwell on it as Mommy had come out of the bathroom. She had brought a comb and a hairbrush with her, which she used to try to subdue the raucous mop on top of my head. Once my hair was relatively neat she combed Billy’s hair. His was much more manageable than mine, so it only took her a fraction of the time it had taken to do mine. She then retrieved my glasses and cast boot from the top of my bureau and brought them over to me. Once they were on my face and left foot respectively, we were ready to go. Mommy went over to the changing table to collect the blue diaper bag. She went through it and put two or three disposables each for Billy and me in it, and she checked to see that it had enough changing supplies.
“Taddy, do you think you’ll want your slings for your arms today, baby?” she asked me.
“Um, no. I’m okay,” I replied.
“Okay, well, I’m going to put them in the diaper bag for you just in case,” she told me.
She finished packing the diaper bag then handed it to Billy to carry.
“Okay, let’s go downstairs, boys,” she said.
Mommy took my hand and led me out of the room. I immediately noticed how loudly my diapers crinkled as I half waddled half limped along. We went downstairs and were told to wait in the den while she went to finish getting ready. We found Daddy in the den continuing to peruse through the Sunday paper. He was wearing a very nice looking gray suit with a pinstriped shirt and a colorful, printed tie. His jacket was draped over the back of the couch he was sitting on.
“Hi, babies,” he greeted us when we came into the den. “You boys look very handsome this morning.”
We both thanked him as we went over to the couch where he was sitting. He helped me climb up into his lap while Billy climbed onto the couch beside him and sat down.
“Daddy, what do I do about my sleeves?” I asked as I sat in his lap.
The cuffs of my shirtsleeves obviously couldn’t be fastened around my casts, so they were just left open rather untidily.
“Hmm,” he said. “I guess we’ll have to do something about those.”
He stood up, picking me up with him, and turned around to set me down on the couch next to Billy. He then went into the kitchen. He was back a minute later and he picked me up and sat back down with me.
“Okay, here we go,” he said.
He took one of my arms and produced a thin rubber band. He put one end of the rubber band over and behind the button on my sleeve cuff. He then fed the band through the buttonhole on the cuff and looped it back around and over the button. My cuff was now held together by the rubber band. He used another band to repeat the little trick with my other sleeve cuff, which solved the problem of my shirtsleeves looking sloppy. It also helped hide most of my casts.
“Wow. You’re smart, Daddy,” I told him when he was done.
“I’m a doctor, remember,” he replied with a light chuckle. “I have to be smart.”
We sat there for only a few minutes more before the girls came downstairs. They were both dressed in nice dresses similar to what they had worn out on their dates on Friday. A minute or two after that Mommy came down the hall from the master bedroom. She was dressed in a conservative, navy blue dress.
“Is everybody ready?” she asked.
Everyone answered affirmatively. Daddy stood up again and picked me up with him as Billy also stood up. We all trooped out of the house into the garage. We went to Daddy’s big SUV. The girls helped Billy and me get into our car seats, which had been moved to the bench seat in the very back of the vehicle. Once we were buckled in securely, the girls took their places in the middle seats, and we were ready to go. Daddy started the engine and opened the garage door. He backed us out of the garage and we were headed out of the neighborhood. I hadn’t the slightest idea what church we were going to or where it was, so all I could do was sit back and wait to see where we went. As we got on the road I immediately noticed that everything was wet. It had obviously rained during the night.
As we headed through town I took the opportunity to pee in my disposable for the first time. I suddenly realized how much easier it was getting for me to pee whenever and wherever I wanted to. It used to be hard for me to pee sitting down, but now all I had to do was push just a little and my bladder emptied itself into my diapers. As I peed into my disposable I noticed that it was definitely a different feeling from peeing in cloth diapers. I felt the urine run down the front of my diaper and puddle briefly down in my crotch before it was soaked up by whatever the padding in the diapers was made out of. After peeing my diaper and sitting there in it for a few minutes I decided that disposable diapers weren’t bad at all. They felt different, but no worse than cloth diapers. I decided I liked the feel of them once they were wet.
Within ten minutes we were pulling into the parking lot of a pretty big church. At least I assumed it was a church. It was a really big, flat, square structure that was made out of gray brick. Its roof was a sort of low, lopsided pyramid. The parking lot in front of the church building was huge and it was pretty full of cars. There were people all over the place headed into the church. It looked like there must be thousands of people who attended this church. I wondered if it was the only church in town.
Mommy, Daddy, and the girls started to get out of the SUV. The girls folded the middle seats down and unbuckled Billy’s and my car seats so we could climb out. Billy still had the diaper bag with him, which he handed to Mommy once he got out of the car.
“Billy, take your brother to his class and drop him off,” Mommy instructed him. “Then go back after class is out and make sure he doesn’t get lost.”
“I don’t get to go to class with Billy?” I asked somewhat upset that I was going to have to go to my Bible school class alone.
“No, sweetie, they have separate classes by grade level,” explained Mommy. “You go to the fifth grade class, and Billy goes down the hall to the seventh grade class.”
“But can’t I go with Billy?” I asked desperately.
“You’ll be fine, Taddy,” Billy tried to assure me. “I’ll be just down the hall.”
“And Maggie will be there, sweetie,” Mommy informed me. “So you’ll know someone there. You won’t be alone.”
“Maggie will be there?” I asked.
“Yeah, their whole family comes here,” Billy said. “Matty will be with me after class when I pick you up.”
“Oh,” I replied. Well, I supposed I wouldn’t be totally among strangers, then. At least I’d know one person in my class, even if she was a girl.
“Okay, everybody,” Daddy suddenly broke in. “Let’s go before we’re late.”
We all turned and headed toward the church building. Before I got very far I felt Daddy’s hand on my shoulder. Without further warning he scooped me up and carried me.
“It’s going to be okay, buddy,” he told me as he walked with me. “You don’t have anything to be scared of. You’re going to meet lots of nice kids today, okay?”
I just nodded somewhat unassuredly. Within a minute we were at the church building. Daddy set me down in front of the main entrance before we went inside. Billy then beckoned me to follow him. We didn’t go into the main entrance like everyone else. I walked beside him down a sidewalk along the front of the building. I very quickly noticed how our butts seemed to crackle and crinkle in unison as we walked. I tried very hard to ignore that as we turned and went into a side entrance into the church building. We entered a wing of the building that looked pretty much like a hallway in any school. It was a simple corridor with several classrooms opening off of it. Billy escorted me down the hall to one classroom. I could see through the little window in the door that there were already children in the classroom. Billy opened the door for me and we went inside. Everything stopped when we went inside and everyone turned to stare at Billy and me; mainly me, I think. I nervously swept the room with my eyes hoping to find someone I knew. At last my eyes fell upon Maggie, who I could see was already coming our way.
“Hi, Taddy. Hi, Billy,” Maggie said as she approached us.
“Hi, Maggie,” Billy greeted her. “Can you keep Taddy company and introduce him to everyone?”
“Of course,” she said. “I had planned to do that, anyway.”
“Cool. Thanks, Maggie,” Billy said. “Okay, Taddy. I’m gonna go. I’ll see you in just a little while.”
“Okay. Bye, Billy,” I told him.
He gave me a reassuring smile and a pat on the shoulder before he turned to leave.
“Come on, Taddy,” Maggie said once he was gone.
She reached down and took me by the hand and led me over to the center area of the room where most everyone was. I suppose there were close to twenty boys and girls in the room along with an older guy—he might have been in his thirties—who I could only assume was the teacher. Maggie led me over to that guy. He was sitting in a chair at the front of the class.
“Eric, this is my friend Taddy,” she introduced me to the guy. “He’s Billy Bradshaw’s new brother. Taddy, this is Eric. He’s our teacher.”
“Oh,” Eric said with a smile. “I had heard the Bradshaws had a new member of the family. Welcome, Taddy. I’m glad you’re here.”
He extended his hand to me and I shook it.
“Thanks,” I squeaked nervously.
“Let me get you introduced to everyone,” he said, “And then we’ll get started.”
He stood up and called the class to order. The classroom was set up with a large circle of chairs in the center of the room. Everyone took their places and sat in their chairs. Eric started by introducing me to the classroom. I was glad he didn’t make me say anything, because I don’t think I could have spoken. I was frozen with fear as I stood next to him in front of everyone. Thankfully, I didn’t have to stand there long. As soon as he introduced me he allowed me to sit down, and Maggie escorted me over to a seat and I sat down next to her. I was glad to sit down, finally, not only because it removed me from the limelight, but also because my ankle was starting to annoy me a little from standing and walking so much.
At Eric’s prompting everyone in the class then introduced himself or herself so that I would know everyone’s name. After that, Eric began the lesson. The lesson today was about some parable in the Bible. I didn’t quite understand what it was about, and I didn’t even know what a parable was, so I just listened attentively, and tried to pick up as much as I could. There was some reading from the Bible. Everyone but me seemed to have a Bible to read from, but Maggie was kind enough to share her Bible with me, so I read along with her. Before I knew it, the lesson was over. Eric said a prayer, and then the class was over. Everyone seemed to congregate around me once we were dismissed. Just about all the kids introduced themselves to me once more. I was nervous, but everyone seemed to really want me to feel welcome there. I thought that was really cool. No one commented on my casts although they weren’t hidden all that well. I was glad for that because I wasn’t really in the mood to discuss why I had the casts. Eventually, everyone began to meander out of the room. Maggie and I left together after we told Eric goodbye. Eric told me he was very happy to meet me, and that he hoped that I would be back next week. As soon as we were out in the hallway we found Billy and Matty waiting there.
“Hey, Taddy,” Billy greeted me.
“Hi, Taddy,” Matty also greeted me.
“Hi, guys,” I told them.
“Did you like the class?” Billy asked.
“Yeah, it was good,” I replied.
By then I had already noticed the stench. Either Billy or Matty or perhaps both of them definitely had messy diapers. I had wet once during the class, but my diaper was still only wet. I hoped that would last until after we got home from church, but obviously Matty and Billy weren’t concerned with that. I gave Matty a quick glance. He was dressed similarly to Billy and me except his slacks were navy blue, and his dress shirt had vertical pinstripes on it. He also didn’t have a tie on. I noticed that the front of his pants were just as puffy as Billy’s and mine. It was pretty obvious to the experienced eye that he had too much padding down there for a boy of twelve.
We headed down the hall and turned down another hallway that took us through the church building. I was extremely disoriented, but soon enough, we wound up in a large auditorium that was filling with people. It was very loud as everyone was milling about and socializing. We threaded our way through a forest of adults, all of who naturally towered over me. Finally, we came upon Mommy and Daddy who were sitting next to each other in a pew pretty much in the center of the auditorium. I then saw that Ms. Molly and Mr. Clark were sitting in the pew in front of Mommy and Daddy. I guess, since they were friends, they sat close to each other. I immediately went up to Mommy and Daddy for some attention.
“Hi, baby,” Mommy said as she picked me up, set me in her lap, and gave me a hug. “Did you enjoy Bible school?”
“Uh huh,” I replied. “It was fun.”
“Good,” she replied.
“Mommy, can I sit with Matty?” Billy asked as he stood next to Mommy and me.
“No, sir,” Mommy said immediately. “Last Sunday, you two almost got yourselves spanked. This week you can stay right here with us. If you behave yourself, you can sit up there next week.”
“Okay,” Billy replied disappointedly.
Mommy then passed me over to Daddy, and I sat on his lap facing him.
“So, you liked your class?” he asked me.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “It was good.”
“See? It wasn’t scary at all, was it?” he asked.
“Nope,” I said with a smile.
“Good,” he said.
He then reached behind me and I felt him give my diapered butt a squeeze. He then pulled back the front waistband of my pants and stuck his hand down my pants and I felt him feel my diaper.
“I think you’ll last a while,” he announced not too loud.
While he had been doing that, Mommy had been doing the same thing to Billy while he continued to stand next to her. Mommy wasn’t being nearly as discreet about checking his diaper as Daddy was with me, but Billy didn’t seem to mind much.
“Taddy is just fine, dear,” Daddy told her.
“Okay,” Mommy said. “Come on then, Billy. Let’s go get you changed before the service starts.”
She stood up grabbing the blue diaper bag that was under the pew by her feet. She slung it over her shoulder and took Billy by the hand and led him out of the auditorium. Right after they left Daddy moved me off his lap and sat me on the pew right next to him. About then, Celli and Andy showed up. Andy sat down next to me and Celli sat down on the other side of her. Andy leaned over and gave me a little kiss on the cheek, and asked me how class went. We chatted for just a few minutes before Mommy and Billy returned. Billy came and sat between Andy and I, while Mommy resumed her place on the other side of Daddy.
Right about then the church service started. A guy led the congregation in a couple of hymns, and then some other guy greeted everyone and made some announcements. A few more hymns were sung and then they did something called communion. I didn’t quite understand what that was about, but it involved the passing out of little, tiny cups of grape juice that everyone drank from along with some white crackers that everyone broke pieces off of and ate. It was almost like snack time in the middle of the church service, but the little crumbs of cracker and the tiny sip of juice certainly wouldn’t be satisfying. I didn’t get it at all. I also wasn’t allowed to partake in that ritual because I was told that I was too young. That was okay with me, since I wasn’t hungry, and I didn’t think the cracker and juice would have done much to fill my stomach even if I was.
After the communion was over there was one more hymn—there was a lot of singing in this church, and then a guy in a suit got up in front of the church. He was apparently the preacher or whatever it was called, because he proceeded to give a sermon. They guy seemed to talk forever, and I really wasn’t paying attention. About halfway through his sermon I started to feel the need to poop. A few minutes later I realized that there was no way I was going to make it through the church service and be able to wait until we got home to go poop. I needed to go, now. I sat there shifting around trying to hold it a little longer and get more comfortable. I kept that up for a few minutes before I decided I just had to defecate. I didn’t want to go sitting right in the middle of a church full of what seemed like thousands of people, but I couldn’t wait any longer, and I didn’t know what else to do. I continued shifting around a little trying to find a comfortable position to poop in. After a minute, Billy leaned over and whispered in my ear.
“Just go ahead and go,” he whispered quietly. He obviously knew why I was so antsy.
“I can’t,” I whispered back.
“Slouch down a little,” he said. “That’ll help.”
“Shh,” Andy hissed at us quietly.
I basically ignored her as I took Billy’s advice and slid down so that I was slouching in the pew. That did help some by taking some weight off of my rear passage. I gave a little push and I felt a soft, gooey mound of poop slide out into my diaper. It was fairly large, and it very quickly filled up the empty space in the seat of my diaper. I sat there slouching for a minute or so as I pushed out the large glob of poop. It was quite a relief to finally get it out of me. No sooner did I get it all out than Daddy leaned over and whispered for me to sit up straight. Apparently it wasn’t acceptable to be slouching in the middle of the church service. I sat back up, which obviously squished my poop around and pressed the mound forward up towards my privates. I think the squishing also accelerated the escape of odors from my diaper, because as soon as I sat up I began to smell my own mess. Billy quickly picked up on the odors and he gave me a little smirk and a nod of approval. I wasn’t nearly as happy as he was. Now, everyone was going to smell me. This was going to be embarrassing. I was also somewhat afraid that my diaper wasn’t going to hold my poop in. This was my first poop in a disposable and I wasn’t sure I trusted the diaper’s ability to hold everything in.
For the rest of the service I just sat there quietly, hoping that no one else would smell my diaper stench, and if they did they wouldn’t single me out as the source of the odors. The last minutes of the sermon seemed to drag on for an eternity. Finally, the preacher ended it and asked the congregation to stand and join him in yet another hymn. Daddy helped me slide off the pew and stand up, which caused my poop to squish around more. As the hymn was sung Matty and Danny, who were right in front of Billy and I in the pew in front of us, turned and gave Billy and I smiling, knowing glances. They knew one of us was poopy. After the hymn was over we sat back down. Sitting down naturally just squished my poop around even more, and I could tell that the smell was getting worse.
Thankfully, there wasn’t much to the service after that. A couple more announcements were made and then there was one last hymn and a prayer, and then we were dismissed. I thought we’d leave right then, but instead we spent what seemed like forever milling about in the throng of people socializing after the service. Billy took me by the arm and led me out of the auditorium. He stopped by Mommy and told her we were going to go outside, and then we left. We went through a large lobby outside the auditorium and then outside. There were already a bunch of other kids out there.
“Are we gonna leave soon?” I asked Billy, hoping we’d get away from all these strangers soon.
“Probably not,” he said. “Daddy is a deacon in the church, so he has to stay quite a while.”
“What’s a deacon?” I asked.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said. “It means he’s sort of one of the people who helps run the church, and it also means he has to stay after the worship service to talk to people. I think he and Mommy know everyone in the church.”
“How many people go here?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “Like a thousand or something.”
“A thousand people?” I asked in awe.
“Yeah, it’s a pretty big church,” he said nonchalantly.
Soon enough Matty and his siblings joined us. Zack came up and gave me a hug and told me I was stinky. I turned beet red at that, but everyone else just laughed. We hung around with a bunch of other kids out in front of the church. Billy introduced me to a few of his friends. One of them said I needed a change, but then he gave me a friendly clap on the shoulder and told me he was just kidding.
We waited for what seemed like an eternity as people continued to stream from the church building. I was getting really impatient and I wanted to leave because I knew at any moment people were going to start making fun of me because of my poopy diaper. A few minutes later I saw Celli and Andy come out of the church. They were conversing with some girls who looked to be their age. They told them goodbye after a minute or so and then came over to where Billy and I were.
“Why did you two run off?” Celli asked. “Someone needed a change.”
“I wanted to get Taddy out of there, so he wouldn’t be so nervous,” Billy answered for her.
“Well, I can see why you’d want to do that,” Andy said. “You were sure stinking up the place.”
I glowed in embarrassment once more.
Andy reached down and picked me up. She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Your such a stinky butt,” she joked.
She gave me a playful swat on the butt as she held me. I wished she would stop talking about me smelling. There were still a bunch of people around, and I knew some of them must be able to hear her.
Finally, Mommy and Daddy came out of the church. It seemed like we had been out there for hours waiting on them. They came over to us, and Daddy immediately took me from Andy’s arms and held me.
“I think somebody really needs a change,” he said. “Good thing we’re going straight home. Come on, everyone. Let’s go.”
Billy and I said goodbye to the Sanders kids, and we all headed out into the parking lot toward Daddy’s SUV. Everyone climbed in and got settled in. The girls made sure Billy and I got buckled into our car seats properly. A minute or two later we were on the road headed toward home. It only took us a little while to get home, and Daddy pulled the car into the garage. We all got out and headed inside.
“Okay, let’s all get changed so we can go,” Mommy said. “Can one of you girls make sure the babies get changed and dressed?”
“I will,” Celli volunteered.
“Okay,” Mommy replied. “Then, Andy you come help me get everything packed up once you change.”
“Okay, Mom,” said Andy
We wall went into the house. Mommy and Daddy went down the hall while the rest of us went upstairs. The girls told us to go wait in the nursery while they changed out of their church clothes. Billy and I did as we were told and went to the nursery. We went over to the entertainment center to watch TV while we waited. Billy took off his tie and he removed mine for me and unbuttoned my collar, which made me much more comfortable. I then plopped down into one of the beanbag chairs and made myself comfortable. As I sat down my poop obviously squished around more inside my diapers.
“Billy,” I said. “This diaper sure is full. You think it might leak?”
“Nah,” he said with a dismissive wave of the hand. “Mommy buys great disposables. I’ve never had a poopy leak except when I had really bad diarrhea at school once. So long as you don’t have diarrhea you’ll be okay in those, and even then, it would have to be really bad diarrhea.”
We watched TV for a few minutes until Celli came into the bedroom. When she arrived she was wearing a khaki pair of those weird pants that ended a little below her knees along with a halter-top with very thin shoulder straps.
“Okay, babies,” she said. “Let’s get you two stinkers, changed.”
“I’m not a stinker, yet,” Billy said as he got up.
He came over and helped me get up out of my beanbag chair. We waddled over to the changing table together.
“Yeah, ‘yet’ is the operative word there,” Celli commented. “You will be soon enough. Okay, the stinkiest baby gets changed first, and we all know who that is, right now.”
I just grinned, knowing that she obviously meant me. I went up to her and she knelt down in front of me. She removed my shoe from my good foot and then unbuttoned my pants. She unsnapped the left pant leg and then pulled the pants down off my waist. She got me out of my pants and then my shirt leaving me in just my disposable diaper, which was fairly wet from having been worn for a few hours. She then picked me up and laid me down on the changing table. She carefully pulled the diaper’s four tapes away from the front of the diaper and opened it up.
“Okay, boys,” she said as she began to clean my up. “I’m giving you two a choice today. You can either go to the park as babies, or you can dress like big boys for once.”
Today we were going to one of the city parks for a family picnic. It would actually be my first outing with the entire family—other than church this morning—since I had been here, so I was pretty excited about it. I was also a little dumbstruck at what Celli had just said. I hadn’t been given much of a choice about what I wore at all since I had been here.
“I wanna be a big boy, today,” Billy said almost immediately.
“What about you, Taddy?” Celli asked me.
“Come on, Taddy. Let’s be big boys,” Billy prodded me.
“Let him decide for himself, Billy,” Celli scolded him. “So, what’ll it be, baby?”
“Um, I wanna be a big boy,” I said.
“Okay, sweetie,” she said.
“But just for the picnic!” I blurted suddenly. “I still wanna be a baby, later.”
Celli just chuckled softly and shook her head.
“We know that, stinker,” she said. “You’ll always be our little baby, anyway. You just get to dress and act like a big boy for the afternoon.”
She got me cleaned up and she taped a new disposable on me. She then helped me sit up, and she picked me up off the changing table and set me on the ground. I sat down on the floor to wait as Celli began undressing Billy. I was getting a little better at sitting down on the floor by myself without practically falling down. I imagine the task was made easier by the fact that I was diapered in the notably thinner disposable. Within a couple of minutes Billy was out of his clothes. Celli checked his diaper, but he was only a bit wet, so she told him he’d be fine for a few hours, and she didn’t change him. She then went to pick out some big boy clothes for us to wear. She got us both dressed in blue jeans and t-shirts. Like the pants I had worn to church, Mommy had had snaps added to the inseams of my blue jeans to make putting them on over my cast easier. The jeans were pretty nice, the first new pair of jeans I had ever owned, but they seemed to fit me a little tighter than my dress slacks. They were very snug around my diaper, which obviously made the diaper even more evident. What was more, the jeans didn’t even cover all of my diapers. The top three inches or so of the disposable stuck rather prominently above the waistline of my pants. Celli pulled a striped t-shirt onto me. She didn’t tuck it into my pants, which allowed it to cover the rest of my exposed diaper and the top of my bulbous butt, but the shirt really wasn’t all that long. I could at least take comfort in the fact that Billy looked just like I did when Celli dressed him. His t-shirt wasn’t very long, the top of his diaper stuck out above his pants, and his butt seemed just as puffy as mine.
After we were dressed Celli escorted us downstairs. We went to the kitchen where we found Mommy, Daddy, and Andy. They had already changed out of their church clothes, and they were packing for the picnic. We were having mostly leftovers from yesterday’s meal. On the way to the park we were going to stop to pick up some fried chicken from somewhere. They were just about done packing when we got there. Daddy took a big ice chest out to the garage to put in his car. Mommy had another smaller cooler that had things that she had heated up. Once those were packed we were ready to go. We all went back out to the garage and climbed into Daddy’s SUV. The girls got Billy and I buckled into our car seats, and then we were ready to go. A minute later we were on the road heading across town. I didn’t really know where we were going, but it didn’t seem like we were going to the park Daddy had taken me to the other day.
Along the way we stopped at a KFC where we went through the drive-through for a bucket of chicken. We then kept driving until we got to a really big park. It definitely wasn’t the park Daddy had taken me to last week; it was much bigger than that one. Daddy parked in the park’s parking lot and we got out of the SUV. There were several little pavilions spread out in the area around the parking lot. Each one had a picnic table under it. Mommy and Daddy selected a picnic table that was close to the car, and everyone began unloading our stuff. Everyone grabbed a little something so we could take everything in one trip. I carried the bucket of fried chicken, since it wasn’t heavy, and it was about all I could carry with the casts on my arms.
“Boys, you two can go play for a few minutes while we get everything set up,” Mommy told us. “But don’t go too far because we’ll be eating in about five minutes.”
“Okay, Mommy,” said Billy. “Come on. Let’s go, Taddy.”
“And remember it rained all night, so there may be some muddy spots,” Mommy said. “You boys had better stay out of them. You’re both in deep trouble if you get dirty.”
“Okay, Mommy,” Billy said again, smiling and rolling his eyes at me.
The two of us headed off into the grassy park. I limped along as quickly as I could, and Billy was kind enough to go slowly so I could keep up with him fairly easily. I looked around at the scenery in the park. I didn’t see all that many people. There were a few adults and kids scattered here and there having picnics of their own, playing games, or just enjoying the warm, October afternoon. The park was very nice. There was an abundant scattering of big trees that provided ample shade along with plenty of open, sunny areas. There were several playground areas within view, though none were particularly close. I could also see what looked like a trail disappearing into the tree line at the far end of the grassy field we were in.
“Later on, we’ll go over there,” Billy said as he pointed towards the trail. “That’s a little nature trail. It leads to another side of the park and there’s really neat stuff to see in the woods.”
“Okay. Cool,” I replied.
We would have continued strolling a little further, but we suddenly heard Mommy calling us. She was beckoning us to return to the picnic table to eat. We turned around and headed back. We got back to the picnic table a minute later and found the picnic table arrayed with a ton of food. We all sat at the table without much ceremony.
“Can I feed myself, today?” Billy asked.
Billy was allowed to feed himself when we were out in public, and I guess he thought the park qualified as public. I assumed that once I got my casts off I would be able to feed myself out in public, too, but I still wasn’t physically capable of that.
“Sure, sweetie,” replied Mommy. “Just don’t make a mess.”
“I won’t,” he promised.
“You still have to wear a bib,” Andy said.
“Aw, come on,” Billy complained. “Mommy, do I have to?”
“Oh, it’s just a little bib, honey,” Mommy said dismissively. “It won’t hurt you to wear it.”
Billy huffed a little bit, but he didn’t say anything else. Andy tied a bib around his neck as Celli did the same thing for me. Daddy then said a quick prayer over the meal and we ate. I sat next to Celli and she fed me my food. She had pulled some chicken meat off of the bone for me, and she fed me that along with baked beans, coleslaw, and that yucky potato salad. I liked the baked beans because they were sweet, and the coleslaw was not bad, but I just didn’t like the taste of the potato salad.
“Celli, I don’t think I like potato salad,” I mentioned as she fed me another bite of the stuff.
“Oh, okay, baby,” she said. “Well, next time we won’t give you any.”
“But, I thought I had to eat what I was fed,” I said.
“You do,” she said, “But potato salad is one of those things that you don’t have to eat if you don’t like it. Vegetables and stuff like that you have to eat whether you like them or not, but not potato salad.”
“Good,” I said.
We finished our meal chatting quietly. Mommy and Daddy asked if I was excited about having Kevin start home schooling me tomorrow, and I said that I was. I couldn’t wait to have him teaching me. I knew he was going to be really fun.
“Can Taddy and I go play, now?” Billy as when we were finished eating.
“Sure, sweetie,” Mommy said. “Let the girls check your diapers, first.”
Andy and Celli checked Billy’s and my diapers respectively. Neither of us were poopy. We were just wet, but they didn’t think either of us needed change at the moment.
“Okay, boys,” said Mommy. “You two go play, but don’t go too far, and remember what I said about getting muddy. You’re in big trouble if you get into any mud.”
“Okay, Mommy,” Billy said.
“Now, be good and have fun,” she said as she dismissed us.
“We will, Mommy,” I answered.
Billy and I left the little picnic pavilion again and we headed out into the park. We headed across the field. As I suspected, we made our way over to the start of the trail that led off into the woods. We headed down the gravel-paved path through dense trees and undergrowth. Tree branches stretched out over the trail providing shade and making it seem like we were in a green and brown tunnel. There were all sorts of noises from the wind blowing through the trees and the birds calling. I also saw some little furry animals jumping from limb to limb on some trees.
“Billy, what are those?” I asked, pointing at the little creatures.
“Those are chipmunks,” he said.
“Oh,” I replied.
“You’ve never seen those?” he asked.
“Nuh uh,” I replied.
“You’ll see a lot of them here,” he said.
We continued on through the woods. We went over a little, wooden footbridge that went over a narrow, meandering creek. I thought that was kind of neat. We went around a bend in the trail and over a very low hill before we came to a slightly larger creek. This one had a line of stepping-stones that went across the shallow stream.
“Be careful going across here,” Billy said.
We went across the crossing slowly. Billy went first to show me how to do it without falling, and then I followed him. It wasn’t as hard to get across the creek as I thought, and I made it without incident.
Shortly after that we came out on the other side of the woods. It was a field much like we had left a few minutes ago. There were scattered trees and more picnic tables and playgrounds.
“This is another park,” Billy announced.
“It is?” I asked.
“Yup,” he said. “It’s still a city park, but it’s a different one than we were in. The woods and the nature trail connect the two parks. I don’t know why they did that, but they did. Anyway, some friends of mine from school live near here, and they come here sometimes. I want to see if maybe any of them are here.”
We made our way through this other park. Billy spotted some boys playing together on one of the playground areas, so we went over that way. There were two boys who seemed to be about Billy’s age. They were the only two people at this otherwise deserted play area.
“Do you know them?” I asked Billy.
“No,” he said. “But they go to school with me. I’ve seen them there. I think they’re in either seventh or eighth grade.”
We went over to the playground. The pit it was in was filled with slightly damp wood chips. Billy suggested that we go over to the swings and he’d push me in one of them. We went over to the swings and I sat down on one of them. I noticed the noisy crinkling of my diaper when I sat down on the swing. I tried to ignore it as Billy started pushing me.
“Hi,” he said casually to the two boys who were climbing on a tower that was attached to the swing set.
“Hi,” the both replied flatly in unison.
“Don’t you guys go to my school?” Billy asked.
One of the boys, a kid with dark brown hair stopped what he was doing and stared at Billy for a second.
“Yeah,” he replied. “You’re the seventh grade, right?”
“Yeah,” Billy confirmed cheerfully. “I’m Billy Bradshaw. This is my little brother, Taddy.”
“What happened to your arms and leg?” the other boy asked me rather abruptly.
I wished he wouldn’t have asked that. I sat there silently for a few seconds, trying to decide how to answer.
“Um, he was in an accident,” Billy said. “A rollerblading accident. He was doing a cool new grind down a twenty-foot handrail, but he lost his balance about halfway through and tumbled down the stairway.”
“You do grinds?” the first boy asked. “You’re like five. I bet you can barely skate.”
“Actually, he’s ten, and he’s really good,” Billy came to my defense. “He’s almost as good as I am, and he’s gonna be better than me pretty soon.”
“Really?” the boy asked.
“Yep,” Billy replied for me.
“Connor! David!” A female suddenly called from off in the distance. “Come on, boys! It’s time to go!”
“Gotta go,” one of the boys said. “Bye.”
“Bye,” Billy said. “See you at school.”
“Bye,” the other boy said.
They climbed off of the playground tower and ran off toward the lady.
“Come on, Taddy,” Billy told me. “We better head back.”
I nodded and slid off of the swing. I went around it and back to Billy. I put my arms around his chest and hugged him.
“Thanks, Billy,” I told him. “That was pretty cool.”
“You’re my baby brother,” he said, returning my hug. “That’s my job. Now, come on. We better go before Mommy and Daddy start to wonder where we are.
“You know what this means, though?” he said as we walked.
“What?” I asked.
“Now, we’re gonna have to teach you how to skate,” he said. “Next time we see them, you have to be able to do a grind.”
“I don’t even know what a grind is,” I said worriedly.
“I’m kidding,” he replied. “But we do need to teach you to skate. Don’t worry. It’s not hard, and it’s a lot of fun.”
We headed back across the park and onto the nature trail through the woods again. We went across the stepping-stones over the wider creek and continued on along the trail. When we got to the first stream we stopped.
“Hey, let’s go look for frogs and snakes and stuff for a minute,” Billy said.
“Snakes?” I asked with a concerned gulp.
“Yeah,” he said. “There’s usually a lot of them around the creeks. They’re really cool.”
“But don’t they bite?” I asked.
“Nah, not if you don’t get too close to them,” he assured me. “Come on.”
He waved for me to follow him as he went off onto a side trail that paralleled the creek. Actually, it was really not much more than a beaten, dirt path covered in leaves.
“But it’s muddy,” I said. “We’ll get dirty.”
“Nah, just stay on the leaves,” Billy told me. “We’ll be fine.”
I didn’t really want to follow him, but he was already several yards off the main trail, and I didn’t want to stay by myself. I looked down at the footpath and reluctantly stepped off the main trail. Leaves covered most of the path, but I could tell that the ground was pretty soft and muddy underneath the leaves. I had to be careful where I stepped. We carefully plodded our way down the narrow trail. Every few seconds Billy looked back to check on me, and make sure that I was okay. At some point the leaves on the trails started to thin out a little, which meant we had to be even more careful not to get muddy.
Billy suddenly decided to stop when we got to a spot where the creek widened just a bit into a bit of a pond in which the water wasn’t moving very quickly. He looked on the opposite side of the trail for a minute until he found a stick that was about two feet long.
“Come here,” he said. “Watch this.”
I got a little closer to him. He crouched down in front of a flat rock that was about six inches across. It sat a foot or two from the edge of the little pond. He wedged the end of the stick under the rock and flipped it over. I nearly freaked when I saw a little coiled up thing underneath the rock that looked like a dark gray, electrical cord. It moved when it was exposed. In a flash it uncoiled and shot off in the direction of the pond. I couldn’t have been more than eight inches long or so and was barely the width around of a pencil.
“Wow!” Billy said excitedly. “That was a water moccasin.”
“A what?” I asked.
“A water moccasin,” he repeated. “It’s a type of snake, and it’s poisonous.”
“Poisonous?” I said in horror. “Like if it bites us we die?”
“Well, not necessarily,” he clarified. “But we still don’t want to get bitten by it. Besides, that was just a little baby. It probably could barely bite us anyway.”
“But what if its mommy is around?” I asked worriedly.
“Snakes don’t have mommies like we do,” he said with a chuckle. “Their mommies lay their eggs, and then they abandon them. Once the eggs hatch, the baby snakes have to fend for themselves.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yep,” he confirmed.
I thought that kind of sounded like what my birth mommy did to me. Maybe she thought humans were supposed to abandon their young, too.
“Hey, look. There’s a frog out in the water,” Billy pointed.
I looked out into the pond and, sure enough, there was a frog. The water was clear enough that he was easily visible. He was sitting on the bottom of the shallow pool of water completely submerged.
“How does he breathe underwater?” I asked.
“They can hold their breath for a really long time,” Billy told me. “Like several minutes. They can also absorb oxygen from the water through their skin. We just learned that in science class. We’re supposed to be dissecting a frog next month.”
“Wow,” I replied. “What’s dissecting?”
“That’s means you take a dead frog and cut it open,” he told me.
“Yucky!” I said, scrunching up my face in disgust.
We went about turning over more stones. Well, actually, Billy did all the looking under rocks. I just watched, and I made sure that I was sort of behind him the whole time so he could shield me from whatever he uncovered. We found a lot of bugs and a lizard or two, but not much else. Then Billy turned over a fairly large rock and a foot-and-a-half-long snake slithered out from underneath it. It was brown and green and gray colored.
“That was just a garden snake,” Billy said. “They’re not poisonous, but they’re cool looking. You want to try one, now?”
“Um, I don’t know,” I said a bit nervously.
“Oh, come on, Taddy. There’s nothin’ to it.”
“Well… I don’t know,” I was still hesitant.
“Come on,” he said. “Just do one. Nothing is gonna happen to you.”
He handed me the stick and then got behind me.
“Go turn that rock over there over,” he said pointing at a rock.
I went over to the rock, which was between the footpath and the little pond. It was right on the edge of the trail, which was good since it meant I didn’t have to risk getting muddy to reach it. I crouched down by it perhaps two feet from the stone.
“Just get the end of the stick under the rock and flip it over,” he said.
“Okay,” I said nervously.
I did as he told me to and slowly reached forward with the stick in my left hand. I got it wedged under the edge of the flat stone and began to pry it out of the mud. I finally got it pried loose and I flipped it over. I was only half hoping to find anything. The second the underside of the rock was exposed I saw a flash of green. It was a snake, coiled up under the rock just like the other two. It immediately uncoiled started to slither away. I thought for sure that it was coming towards me.
“Ah!” I yelped.
I immediately jumped up and backwards trying to get away from the hostile snake. With Billy standing right behind me, I couldn’t help but collide into him. That knocked us both backwards and we both fell. We fell onto the ground on the other side of the footpath. Unfortunately, the other side of the footpath was a quagmire that had probably recently been a large puddle. Now it was just a big pool of mud. We landed on our backs with a squishy set of splats. I landed partially on top of Billy. That protected my right shoulder and part of that side of my back from the mud, but my butt and the left side of my back weren’t spared. Billy really bore the brunt of the impact.
“Aw, man, Taddy!” he groaned once we landed.
“I’m sorry,” I said immediately.
“Crap!” he swore.
He sat up, pushing me off of him. He grabbed my right upper arm and helped me sit up. He then stood up. As he did I saw that the entire back of his t-shirt was covered in mud. The entire back of his jeans was equally plastered in mud. He stood up on the trail and looked at his backside.
“Man! I’m a mess,” he stated.
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“It’s okay,” he said with a shake of the head.
He turned around and extended a hand down to me to help me up. I took his hand with my right hand and he pulled me up out of the mud. He had me face away from him so he could look at my backside.
“You’re a mess too, buddy,” he said.
“What do we do?” I asked, urgently hoping my brother had a solution to our current predicament.
“Well, there’s not way we’re gonna get this much mud off of us,” he said. “There’s only one thing we can do; just go back and find Mommy and Daddy.”
He let out an exasperated sigh.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go back.”
We turned and made our way back to the main trail. I was very upset.
“Why did you jump like that?” Billy asked me.
“I thought that snake was gonna bite me,” I replied.
“It was just another garden snake,” he said. “It wouldn’t have bitten you.”
“I’m sorry, Billy,” I said dejectedly. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
“I know, Taddy,” he said. “It’s alright.”
“We’re gonna get in trouble, aren’t we?” I asked wretchedly.
“Yeah,” he nodded soberly. “I think we’re in big trouble.”
“I’m sorry,” I said yet again, beginning to whimper softly now.
“I said it’s okay, Taddy,” he said.
He gave me a comforting pat on the shoulder.
“Aw man, you got mud on your cast,” he suddenly said.
He was a little bit behind me on my left side. He reached down and grabbed my left arm. I looked around behind me and saw that I indeed did have mud on the back of my cast behind my elbow.
“We’re in deep trouble,” he said. “The back of your diaper must have been showing, too. It’s all muddy.”
I looked all the way behind myself as best I could, and I could see that the back of my now soiled t-shirt had ridden up, exposing the top of my diaper. The top of the diaper was no longer stark white, but caked in mud. Now, I really wanted to cry. I knew we were in the biggest, deepest trouble ever.
The trip out of the woods and through the park went all too quickly. Soon enough—much too soon for me—we were within sight of the picnic table we had been eating at. Daddy and the girls were nowhere to be seen, but Mommy was there. She was frantically pacing across the concrete slab that the picnic table sat on.
“Oh, Thank Heavens!” she exclaimed when she saw us approaching. “Where have you two been?”
She immediately came rushing over to us. She crouched down and hugged us tightly to her chest. That only lasted a second before she pulled away from us with an obviously angry look on her face. She had obviously just discovered that we were muddy when she hugged us.
“What did you two get into?” she asked.
“We got a little muddy,” Billy admitted.
“A little muddy!” she said disbelievingly.
She turned us both around to look at our backsides.
“Oh, my goodness!” she exclaimed. “You two are filthy.”
“We were by the creek in the woods,” explained Billy. “And we kind of fell into some mud.”
“Ugh!” Mommy grunted in frustration.
“And where did you go?” she asked angrily. “I told you two not to wander off too far.”
“We went over to the park on the other side of the woods,” Billy admitted.
“The other park?” she asked. “You know you’re not supposed to go over there by yourself. We’ve all been worried sick about you. Your father and sisters are off searching for you right now. I can’t believe you boys!”
“I’m sorry, Mommy,” Billy started to whimper.
“That doesn’t cut it, young man,” she said. “You know better than that. I told you boys not to go too far and twice not to get muddy, didn’t?”
“Yes,” Billy said quietly.
“You heard what I said, too, didn’t you, Thaddeus?” she asked me.
“Yes,” I said barely above a whisper.
She called me Thaddeus. She hadn’t done that since the day I came to live with them. She must have been really mad at me.
“Come on,” she said as she stood up. “You two are in big trouble.”
She turned and took each of us by the hand and marched us toward the SUV. She went slowly enough that I could keep up as I limped along, but she still moved abruptly and with determination. I could tell she must be furious. As we headed towards the back of the SUV I began to get really scared. My stomach began to churn uncomfortably as I pondered what lay ahead. I figured that this was it. This incident was most likely the proverbial final straw that had broken the camel’s back. Mommy and Daddy had said they would never hurt me, but that was before this had happened. Now I was probably going to be beaten again. If I had been in any other house I had ever stayed in I most certainly would have been severely beaten for getting myself so dirty—I don’t think any of my other families would have cared too much about me running off somewhere. Mommy opened the tailgate of the SUV, and I prepared for the worst. She sat down on the edge of the vehicle’s rear bumper and bent down to begin undressing us.
“I just can’t believe you boys did this!” she fumed as she undressed us. “Do you have any idea how worried we were about you? We were scared to death. So many bad things could have happened to you. What if you had gotten hurt and couldn’t move? What if someone had taken you?”
She completely stripped both of us of our clothes very quickly.
“I can’t even put these clothes in the car they’re so filthy,” she commented.
She just dropped our soiled clothes on the parking lot next to us in a pile.
“And then on top of running off,” she continued ranting. “You go and get yourself absolutely filthy. I told you twice not to get muddy, and not only do you get muddy, you both get yourselves completely covered in muck.”
When we were standing there in literally nothing but our diapers, she then turned both of us around and gave our butts a squeeze to check the condition of our diapers. Neither of us was poopy at the moment.
“Ugh, Taddy, you even got your diaper muddy,” she said.
She then turned us around to face her again.
“Well, I’m sorry, boys,” she said. “But I don’t have much choice but to do this.”
With that she reached down to Billy. In short, very quick movements, she untaped his diaper as he stood there. When that happened, Billy immediately started crying rather hard. She finished untaping his diaper and she pulled it out from between his legs. She set the wet diaper inside the back of the SUV next to her. Then she very abruptly grabbed Billy, picked him up, and laid him down on his stomach across her knees. Her hand then rose over his butt and fell very quickly in short, choppy motions. There was an amazingly loud smack as she spanked Billy’s still-wet butt. I didn’t even try to keep track of how many spanks he received. By that time my body shuddered as I sobbed out of control. My vision was blurry with tears, but I could see Billy’s butt cheeks turn red as Mommy spanked him. Billy bawled loudly as he took his spanking. She suddenly stopped spanking Billy and lifted him up off of her lap. She set him back on the ground next to me, and he stood there as he continued to cry.
Then it was my turn. She pulled the four tapes of my diaper open and took the diaper off of me. I didn’t care in the least that I now stood there in the park completely naked in the middle of the afternoon. I had much more urgent things on my mind. Mommy picked me up and laid me across her lap like she had just done with Billy. Before I even felt the first spank I was crying even harder than I had been. I then felt her hand smack my butt. That spank was followed by a rapid succession of more smacks. Even as it happened, I realized that this spanking wasn’t like other spankings and beatings I had received. It hurt, to be sure, but it was a lot less painful than I was used to. But it wasn’t the physical pain of the spanking that hurt me the most; it was the fact that she was spanking at all me that was the hardest for me to take. As suddenly as it began the spanking was over. Mommy picked me up and set me on the ground next to Billy. His crying had already subsided to sniffling and whimpering.
Mommy reached over the back seat for the diaper bag, which was still in between our car seats. She pulled out a changing pad and diapering supplies. After spreading the changing pad out in the back of Daddy’s SUV she picked Billy up and laid him down on it. She gently powdered his diaper area and taped him into a new disposable. She then picked him up and gave him a hug and a kiss. Then, she set him back down on the ground.
She picked me up and laid me down on the changing pad. I was still racked with uncontrollable, loud, stuttering sobs. She powdered me up with the same loving care that she always did. Her touch didn’t hint at all that she was mad. A minute later she taped a new disposable diaper onto me.
“Now, babies, I’m sorry Mommy had to spank you,” she said as she diapered me. “But you have to understand that you can’t run off like that. So many bad things could have happened to you. We make rules for a reason. We want you boys to be safe, and running off like that isn’t safe. And when Mommy tells you not to get muddy, that means don’t get muddy. When we tell you to do something, you have to do it.”
By then she was finished taping my disposable on. She picked me up and hugged me tightly to her chest.
“Mommy, loves you very much, baby,” she told me.
I couldn’t respond to her. I was still crying too hard.
“Oh, and you got mud on your cast, baby,” she said with only slight annoyance.
She laid me back down on the changing pad. She got the baby wipes out of the diaper bag. She used a couple of wipes to clean off my cast. I was still sobbing pitifully as she did so.
“There. All better,” she announced.
She put the baby wipes away and then picked me up.
“I- I’m s- sor- sorry, Mo- Mommy,” I stammered through my sobbing.
“I know, baby,” she said. “I know.”
She held me as I continued to cry.
“Baby, you can calm down, now,” she said a few minutes later when I was still sobbing loudly. “It’s all over, now.”
That didn’t cause me to calm down any. I still couldn’t make myself stop crying. I was too upset.
“What’s wrong with him, Mommy?” I heard Billy asked a little worriedly.
I looked over at him and noticed that he wasn’t crying anymore. His eyes were still red and puffy looking, and he was sniffling just a little, but I could tell he was no longer extremely upset about getting spanked.
“He’s just upset, sweetie,” Mommy told him. “He’ll be fine.”
She then stood up with me.
“Come on, boys,” she said. “Let’s go over to the picnic table and sit down. Billy, put your socks and shoes back on. It seems your shoes were the only things you two didn’t get covered in mud. We didn’t bring any extra clothes, so diapers are all you babies have to wear.”
She carried me over to the picnic table under the little pavilion and sat down. She continued to hold me and gently rubbed my back as I continued to cry profusely. I didn’t care in the least that I was in a public park wearing nothing but my diaper. Billy followed us over to the table a minute later after he put his shoes on and closed the SUV’s tailgate.
About then, Daddy and the girls returned. They came walking up through the park toward us. When they saw that Billy and I were back they rushed over to us a little more urgently.
“Where did you two go?” Daddy asked.
“They went wandering through the woods to the park over there,” Mommy said.
“Billy, you know better than that, young man,” Daddy told him somewhat sternly.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Billy said meekly. He started sniffling again.
“They already got a spanking for it,” Mommy said. “And their clothes were completely covered in mud. They got spanked for that, too. Now, Taddy is very upset. He won’t stop crying.”
“What’s wrong, Tadpole?” Daddy asked me.
“Here, honey,” said Mommy. “Take him.”
She handed me to Daddy, who took me and hugged me tightly to his chest.
“It’s okay, Taddy,” he told me. “It’s all over, now. You just calm down.”
He sat down one of the benches at the picnic table and held me. He rubbed my back comfortingly just like Mommy had been doing. He held me for what must have been several minutes as I continued to cry.
Finally, I began to calm down. Actually, I think, more than anything else, I was just exhausted from crying so much. My sobbing died down to a whimper, and I sniffled quietly as I rested my head on Daddy’s chest.
“Are you okay, baby?” Daddy asked me.
I just nodded without saying anything. I was suddenly very tired. My long ordeal had sapped my energy. I don’t even think I could have lifted my head off of Daddy’s chest if I had wanted to.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I barely had the strength to say quietly as I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up I don’t know how much later. I felt extremely confused and disoriented. I didn’t know where I was at first, but then I realized that I was in a crib. I was lying on my stomach. The side of my face rested on a pillow. I raised my head off of the pillow and immediately noticed that Squeaker was lying right next to me on the pillow. I reached up, grabbed him, and clutched him to my chest as I rolled onto my side.
“Hey, Taddy,” I heard Billy say.
I looked over at the corner of the crib that was above my head and saw Billy sitting with his back up against the corner.
“Hi, Billy,” I said quietly.
“Have a good nap?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied flatly.
I sat up rubbing the sleep out of my eyes with my thumb. I noticed that I was now wearing a plain, white t-shirt in addition to my disposable diaper, which was now pretty wet.
“You feel better, now?” he asked.
“Nuh uh,” I shook my head.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Do you think Mommy and Daddy are gonna get rid of me, now?” I asked trying not to start crying once again.
“Get rid of you?” he asked in amazement. “Why would they do that?”
“Because I got in trouble,” I said. With that a tear rolled down my cheek.
“Of course they’re not gonna get rid of you, Taddy. I was there, too, remember,” he replied. “If they got rid of you they’d have to get rid of me, too.”
“No, they wouldn’t,” I replied. “You’re their son. They can’t get rid of you. I’m just their foster son. They can get rid of me any time they want. That’s what always happens to me. My foster parents get tired of me for some reason, and then they get rid of me and send me to someone else.”
“Don’t be silly, Taddy,” he said. “You know they wouldn’t do that. Mommy and Daddy love you, Taddy. All of us do. They’re not just gonna decide to get rid of you. That’s not how it works.”
“But, Mommy was really mad at us,” I replied.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean she stopped loving either of us,” he said.
“I don’t know,” I replied unconvinced. “I don’t think they’re gonna keep me much longer.”
He let out an exasperated sigh.
“Why wouldn’t they keep you much longer?” he asked.
“Because,” I said, starting to cry in earnest, “I sleepwalk, I have night terrors, I’m a stupid bedwetter, and I wander off and get all muddy when they tell me not to.”
He just rolled his eyes and shook his head. He crawled over to me and sat next to me up against the side of the crib by the wall. He put his arm around me and pulled me into his side.
“Listen, Taddy,” he said, “Nobody cares about any of that. None of that is any reason to get rid of you. Trust me, okay. No one is going to get rid of you. I promise.”
“Okay,” I said, though I was still unconvinced.
About then the nursery door opened and Mommy came in.
“Hi, sleepyheads,” she said cheerfully. “Did everyone have a good nap?”
“Yeah,” Billy answered for us.
“What’s wrong, Taddy?” Mommy asked me. She could obviously see that I had been crying again.
“He’s still a little upset over the spanking and everything else this afternoon,” Billy answered for me. “He’s afraid you’re gonna get rid of him.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Mommy said to me, her face going from cheery to sad in a second. “Come here.”
She dropped the side of the crib and picked me up and hugged me to her chest.
“I’m sorry I was bad, Mommy,” I said as I started crying again.
“You’re not bad, baby,” she tried to assured me. “You’re a very good baby, you just did something you shouldn’t have. We still love you, and there’s no way we’d want to get rid of you, okay?”
“Okay,” I whimpered.
She gave me a last good hug and then set me on the ground. She then helped Billy out of the crib. She gave both of our diapers a squeeze in the front to see how wet we were, and then she checked our rear ends to see that we weren’t poopy. She then got my glasses off the top of Billy’s bureau and put them on my face for me.
“Okay,” she said. “You boys can go play for a while. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Let’s play with Legos,” Billy said as Mommy left.
He went over to the toy shelves and pulled out two tubs of Lego bricks. He dumped them on the play rug in the middle of the nursery and we began to play with Legos. We didn’t get to play for very long before Mommy came back, but this time she had Daddy with her.
“Hi, boys,” Daddy greeted us merrily.
“Hi, Daddy,” Billy said.
“Hi, Daddy” I parroted him.
Daddy came over and reached down for me. He picked me up and planted my butt on his hip.
“How would you like to go out for some ice cream with Mommy and me, Taddy?” he asked me.
“Okay,” I replied with a smile and a shrug. I wasn’t about to say no to ice cream.
“I want to go out for ice cream,” Billy said immediately.
“You and your sisters are staying here, sweetie,” Mommy told him. “We want to talk to Taddy for a little while.”
“I can’t come?” he asked.
“Not this time,” Mommy said.
“That’s not fair,” he pouted.
“We’ve taken you out for ice cream by yourself lots of times, Billy,” Daddy pointed out. “It’s Taddy’s turn, now.”
“Okay,” he replied a little sadly.
“And there’s plenty of ice cream in the freezer,” Mommy said. “You and the girls can make sundaes.”
“Okay,” Billy said again, but more happily.
“Come on,” Mommy said to him. “Let’s go downstairs so I can tell the girls what we’re doing.”
Mommy took him by the hand and led him out of the room.
“Let’s go get Daddy’s little boy dressed,” Daddy said once they left.
He carried me over to the changing table and set me down on it. He told me to wait right there and he went into the closet to find some clothes for me. He returned with some clothes to put on me. He removed my t-shirt and pulled a long-sleeve t-shirt on me that had horizontal stripes and a white collar on it. He then put a pair of denim, big boy overalls on me.
“It’s getting a little colder,” he said. “So we need to dress you a little warmer.”
I just nodded as he finished fastening the overalls shoulder straps to the bib on the front of the garment. He then got a sock from my chest-of-drawers and my lone tennis shoe and put them on my right foot.
“Ready to go, big boy?” he asked me.
“Uh huh,” I said. “But can Squeaker go with us?”
“Sure he can,” he told me.
He went to Billy’s crib and pulled Squeaker out of it. He brought my teddy bear over to me and handed him to me. He then grabbed the diaper bag by the changing table. He picked me up and carried me out of the room. We went downstairs and to the kitchen where we found everyone else in the kitchen. Billy was in his highchair while Celli and Andy were in the kitchen putting together a triplet of ice cream sundaes.
“Ready to go, honey,” Daddy asked Mommy, who was in the kitchen with the girls.
“Yep, let’s go,” she said. “We’ll see you three in just a little while.”
“Are we having ice cream for supper?” Billy asked.
“No, silly,” Mommy said with a chuckle. “We’ll eat some sandwiches in a little while.”
“But I thought we could only have dessert after supper,” he replied.
“Hmm,” Mommy said, thinking for a second. “Yep, you’re right. I guess that means you’ll have to have an extra helping of vegetables tomorrow night.”
“Aw,” Billy whined.
Everyone else just laughed.
Mommy grabbed her purse off of the kitchen counter, and the three of us went out to the garage. Mommy held me while daddy very quickly moved my car seat to one of the middle seats. He must have been very experienced at doing that, because it only took him a minute to complete the task. He then took me from Mommy and strapped me into my car seat. Then, he put the diaper bag down at my feet and he and Mommy climbed into their respective seats. We backed out of the garage and headed out of the neighborhood.
We headed through town for about five minutes until we got to the same Dairy Queen that Mommy had taken me to on the day we got my glasses. Daddy got me out of my car seat and the three of us went inside. Daddy just carried me inside without even asking me if I wanted to walk or ride in my stroller. We went into the restaurant and ordered some ice cream. This time I asked for and received a Blizzard. We decided to go sit outside at the outdoors eating area after we got our ice cream, since it was more private. We sat down at one of the metal and plastic picnic tables. I sat in Daddy’s lap, and Mommy sat at the chair that was kitty corner to us. We ate our ice cream for a few minutes. Of course, Daddy fed me little spoonfuls of my Oreo Blizzard.
“So, Mommy says you thought we might want to get rid of you,” Daddy said after a few minutes and ten or so bites of ice cream.
“Yeah,” I said sadly, looking down at the table.
“Can you tell me why you’d think something like that?” he asked gently.
I suddenly wanted to cry yet again.
“Because,” I said pouting.
“Because why?” he asked.
“Because I sleepwalk, I have night terrors, I’m a bedwetter, and I don’t do what I’m told and I have to get spanked,” I said. “Oh, and I’m stupid, too.”
By then tears were already streaming down my face.
“First of all, you’re not stupid at all, Taddy,” Daddy said. “You’re a very smart little boy. And even if you weren’t, so what?”
“So, why would you want someone who did all that?” I said.
“Because, we love you, baby,” Mommy said.
“That’s right, Taddy,” Daddy said. “Remember what I told you the other day about when you love someone you can’t just stop loving them and get rid of them.”
“Uh huh,” I nodded.
“Do you know what ‘unconditional’ means, baby?” Daddy asked me.
“No,” I replied.
“‘Unconditional’ is when you give or do something without expecting to get anything in return. It means you don’t say ‘I’ll only do this if you do this for me, or only if you act a certain way or do certain things.’ Do you understand that?”
“Um. Yeah, I think so,” I said with a nod.
“Well, when you love someone unconditionally that means you love them no matter what they do or don’t do. No matter what they do to you, no matter what problems they have, no matter what they do wrong, you still love them. Do you understand that?”
“Uh huh,” I replied.
“Well, that’s how we love you,” he said. “We love you unconditionally. No matter how much trouble you get into, no matter what problems you have, we will still always love you. Understand?”
I just nodded.
“But, then, why did Mommy spank me if she loves me?” I asked.
“Mommy spanked you because she loves you, kiddo,” Daddy replied.
That had to be one of the most confusing things I had ever been told.
“Huh?” I asked in bewilderment.
“Mommy and I want you to learn to do what’s right, and we want you to be safe,” he told me. “And when we spank you, we don’t do it because we want to hurt you. We do it because we want you to learn from it. Do you understand?”
“I think so,” I replied, though I wasn’t all that sure that I did.
“Sometimes Mommy and Daddy will have to spank you, baby,” Mommy told me. “But don’t ever thing we don’t love you just because we give you a spanking. Okay? We’re spanking you because we want to help you.”
“Okay, Mommy,” I replied with a thin smile. “But, what happens when you get tired of me?”
“Why would we get tired of you?” Daddy asked.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “But that’s what always happens. People get tired of me and they get rid of me. That’s how everyone is.”
“That may be how all your other foster parents were,” Mommy said. “But not us. We’re different. We’ll never get tired of you. No ever.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“I’m positive,” she replied.
“Taddy, let me ask you something,” Daddy said. “When you got hit in your other foster homes, when they spanked you or hurt you or yelled at you, did they hold you and tell you they loved you?”
I didn’t even need to think about that.
“No. Never,” I said immediately.
“See? That’s how we’re different,” he said. “If we didn’t love you or care about you. Do you think we’d hold you and comfort you?”
“I guess not,” I said.
“And we certainly wouldn’t do it if we were tired of you, would we?”
“No,” I replied.
That was when it suddenly hit me. Daddy was right. Mommy and Daddy and this whole family were a lot different than any other family I had lived with. I had known that pretty much from the start, but it wasn’t until right then that it really hit me. This family really was a lot different. Even though they spanked me, it wasn’t because they hated me, but because they cared about me. I understood that, now.
“Feel better, now?” Daddy asked me.
“Yeah,” I said with a thin but satisfied smile. “I love you, Daddy.”
I wrapped my fiberglass-encased arms around his chest as best I could.
“I love you, too, baby,” he told me as he returned my hug.
He gave me a kiss and then handed me over to Mommy, who also gave me a hug and a kiss.
“I love you, Mommy,” I told her.
“I love you, too, sweetie,” she said.
“Now, let’s finish our ice cream before it melts,” Daddy said.
He pushed my Blizzard over to Mommy and she fed me what was left of it. We finished our ice cream, and then we got back into Daddy’s SUV. I smugly luxuriated in my comfy car seat for the entire ride home. We got home and went inside to find the girls upstairs doing homework and Billy playing by himself in the nursery.
We had a quick supper of sandwiches. No one ate much since we had pretty much filled up on ice cream. Billy and I both just had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. After that, Mommy and Daddy bathed Billy and me. Once we were clean and dry we were put into our night diapers. I realized I had missed having my thick, cloth diapers on all day. Mommy also put us in our sleepers. I wore another one of my new footless sleepers that was made out of soft, cozy flannel.
After our baths, Billy and I played downstairs in the playpen in the den for a while, while Mommy and Daddy sat and watched TV together. All too soon it was bedtime, so we told Mommy goodnight, and Daddy took us upstairs to the nursery. He read us a story for about half an hour, and then it was time to go to bed. Daddy carried me over to my crib.
“Now, Taddy, after this morning, Mommy and I are turning on the baby monitor so that we can hear you if you want to get out of your harness.”
“What’s a baby monitor?” I asked.
“There’s a little microphone up in the ceiling,” he told me. “It’s connected to a speaker our bedroom, so we can hear you from down there. We haven’t used it in a long time with Billy, but we’re going to start using it a gain. So, when you want to get up you can just call for us. If you want you can cry like a baby. You’re a baby, so that’s just fine with us.”
“Okay,” I replied with a smile.
He gave me a hug and a kiss, and then he strapped me into my harness and tucked me in. After tucking us in and telling us goodnight, he turned the lights in the nursery off and left us alone.
“Billy?” I called quietly across the room.
“Yeah, Taddy?” he replied.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you, too, Taddy,” he said. “Goodnight, baby brother.”
“Goodnight, Billy,” I told him.
With that I hugged Squeaker to my chest causing him to squeak quietly. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.